just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
