Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
