Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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