This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
