Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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