My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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