I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found