So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
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Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
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Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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