I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My vagina is officially offended.