Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.

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(407): Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer. http://tfl.nu/hnl7

Replies (5) Good night (1722) Bad night (3022)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Mommy issues

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(303): I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick. (1-303): Mommy issues http://tfl.nu/pw3k

Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (1886)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.

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(412): Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink. http://tfl.nu/ozhg

Replies (3) Good night (1174) Bad night (646)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

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(610): we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again. http://tfl.nu/goom

Replies (6) Good night (3330) Bad night (1033)
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(519): View more from Ontario

your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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(519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100

Replies (3) Good night (3015) Bad night (1357)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.

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(501): So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again. http://tfl.nu/au9d

Replies (15) Good night (1367) Bad night (3290)
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(209): View more from California

We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

(1-209): View more from California

Duh.

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(209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv

Replies (5) Good night (2147) Bad night (646)
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(713): View more from Texas

That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.

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(713): That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes. http://tfl.nu/7uvj

Replies (10) Good night (1526) Bad night (830)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.

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(612): You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms. http://tfl.nu/grmf

Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (366)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to like rub my face on his abs

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I need help

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(610): I just want to like rub my face on his abs (610): I need help http://tfl.nu/fsti

Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (404)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...

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(701): Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter... http://tfl.nu/1omr

Replies (0) Good night (727) Bad night (319)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.

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(618): Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose. http://tfl.nu/98w1

Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (438)
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(315): View more from New York

I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.

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(315): I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun. http://tfl.nu/dmt9

Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (314)
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(571): View more from Virginia

My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.

(703): View more from Virginia

Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.

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(571): My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous. (703): Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill. http://tfl.nu/6yt0

Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (398)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.

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(250): I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pg6b

Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (567)

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