I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....