Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  I think I am morally bankrupt

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  (714): I think I am morally bankrupt http://tfl.nu/yusq
  Replies (29) Good night (2462) Bad night (699)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..

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  (609): She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her.. http://tfl.nu/k827
  Replies (49) Good night (6706) Bad night (586)
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  (+07): View more from

  tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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  (+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50
  Replies (34) Good night (5292) Bad night (933)
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  (198): View more from

  im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now

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  (198): im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now http://tfl.nu/ubkf
  Replies (36) Good night (4847) Bad night (1123)
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  (858): View more from California

  There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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  (858): There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate. http://tfl.nu/dn5m
  Replies (24) Good night (7525) Bad night (960)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

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  (845): Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success http://tfl.nu/8g5x
  Replies (12) Good night (4198) Bad night (784)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.

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  (239): so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are. http://tfl.nu/bpgx
  Replies (15) Good night (3346) Bad night (1067)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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  (+44): listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all. http://tfl.nu/7xa1
  Replies (8) Good night (1162) Bad night (2656)
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  (619): View more from California

  I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.

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  (619): I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes. http://tfl.nu/rji6
  Replies (9) Good night (1429) Bad night (797)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2254) Bad night (566)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.

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  (989): I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon. http://tfl.nu/2nq9
  Replies (13) Good night (1376) Bad night (463)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

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  (303): Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs. http://tfl.nu/8ywt
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (946)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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  (408): Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain http://tfl.nu/bezg
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (300)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...

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  (810): There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist... http://tfl.nu/z2ai
  Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (235)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married

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  (508): he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married http://tfl.nu/dg6a
  Replies (10) Good night (615) Bad night (325)

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