Sry I called you an 8
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.