Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
