why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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