What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.