I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
