his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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