Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the raccoons are back...
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