What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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