I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
