When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dating After Heartbreak
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.