you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter