Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm like, not good at living.