Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.