I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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