Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
