I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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