this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
