I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
