I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
