names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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