Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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