Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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