Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
