I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
