She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
