You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
