I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Randomize
