It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
tell me about the fingering
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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