Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
