Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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