So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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