Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize