Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I AM VODKA MAN
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize