i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.