Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

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(407): View more from Florida

Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...

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(813): View more from Florida

I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN

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(517): View more from Michigan

How was your weekend?

(248): View more from Michigan

My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text

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