dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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