Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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