Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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