her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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