He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
3 2 1 whiskey
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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