its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
