Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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