He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize