Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
