She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
