I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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