Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
