Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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