Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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