and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont even know how to be here
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
