you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
