Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
