you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
