PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
