If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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