i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
